?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

The Zodiak Killer

About a week before Christmas, my mother gave me an early call. She tends to call me once every other week, and it'd only been 3 days since she'd last called. I knew something was up, but I was not prepared for what she had to tell me.

My dad had been diagnosed with advanced Cancer.

They found it in his blood tests, and were able to find it in his liver. Apparently though, it didn't originate there. The doctors aren't able to tell where it started.

So they ran more tests, and finally just put him on general chemotherapy.

The whole family came together for Christmas at my parent's house, so dad wouldn't have to travel, and we spent a week visiting and getting affairs in order, just in case. My family is very practical.

That was three weeks ago. He was able to get about by himself, though he was weak and tired. I just went back to visit him this weekend. Now he's in a wheelchair and it barely awake and coherent for three hours in a day. He cannot even get himself from the bed into the wheelchair. He's a man who was proud and self sufficient; I can not even imagine how he must feel.

I haven't been able to comprehend this on an emotional level yet. I can think logically, that it's quite likely that he will die within the next month. But I don't know even that. His weakness could be caused by the chemotherapy treatments, and he may get better. I just don't know. The doctor's can't tell us for another month whether the treatments are working or not. He does not look good, though.

So I'm sort of in a limbo state, not knowing what to expect. It's extremely stressful.

When will the emotions hit, though?

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
malver
Jan. 21st, 2002 02:53 am (UTC)
*comfort and sympathies* The thought of possibly losing close and loved ones is never any way easy (and my thoughts on cancer- which failed to take my mother but is about to take a friend- being unprintable I shall not print them.) Here's hoping for the best.
kibbles
Jan. 21st, 2002 03:44 am (UTC)
I suppose it will hit during whatever phase of resolution there is (hopefully upon recovery -- I know many who HAVE recovered from cancer).

You need to be strong now, and that is why it isn't quite 'hitting'. When all is resolved, then you can melt, then you can fall apart, even under the best case scenario. When my grandmother survived lung cancer (a decade ago) as soon as she was in the clear my parents went on a LONG vacation. Being strong that whole time just took its toll.

Hang in there, even if you and I don't know each other that well, it doesn't take much for me to figure out you have a great network of support, who will be there for you. And me too, if that helps and you don't mind.

tuftears
Jan. 21st, 2002 09:41 am (UTC)
Good luck! *snugs* My dad had a stroke a long while back; it's why he's retired somewhat earlier than he normally would be. It's terrible to see one's relatives in poor condition, all we can do is pray for recovery.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )