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The Zodiak Killer Part 2.

Things are not looking good for my father.

The doctors said privately to my mom that the chemotherapy should have shown some improvement by now. (So much for not knowing for another month.) He's getting worse and worse, though. This cancer hit him fast and hard. Very aggressive, and it's not showing signs of remission.

My mom called me last night to let me know that she doesn't think he's going to live out the weekend. He barely even awoke yesterday, and refused food when he did. We've pretty much lost hope that he's going to recover. The hope we have left is that his passing will be painless, in his sleep.

The emotions hit last night, but I've been distracting myself with anything and everything else. I'm not really dealing with it. I'm not the sort of person who can talk this out with others; I cannot stand the idea of becoming a depressoid moper. I have to vent somewhere, though, so this journal gets to be it.

This sucks.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
silverblue
Jan. 24th, 2002 06:08 pm (UTC)
Yes, it sucks monumentally.

But, speaking as someone who is good at being a depressed moper...

If you do need to talk, you can. And...you probably will. Need to, that is.

I'm sorry, Revar. It hurts.
revar
Jan. 25th, 2002 11:23 am (UTC)
Re: story and site
You do depressed moping with style, though, Silver.

Thanks.
tuftears
Jan. 24th, 2002 06:54 pm (UTC)
Best wishes!
Are you gonna head down to visit this weekend? *Snugs* These things are difficult. I had an experience like that with my maternal grandmother recently, though with her, it was simply that she'd gotten real old.

I just hope that this is a sign my family tends to live to old age because I'm not ready to face my parents' aging yet.
malver
Jan. 25th, 2002 02:47 am (UTC)
My sympathy and very best wishes as well. Recently lost a long-time family friend to cancer (on Tuesday), it hurt a lot... (not the same thing by a far sight, I agree, of course)
It's a horrible thing
mousit
Jan. 25th, 2002 09:56 am (UTC)
Not sure what to offer, really, except like those before me to offer my sympathies, and my understanding. My mother died a few years back from colon cancer.

In a way, from my perspective, I would perhaps add that it is maybe better this way, if it had to happen at all. That it was fast. And hopefully relatively painless. My family had to watch my mother seriously waste away for well over a year before she died. I would have rather she didn't have to go through that suffering. Like your father, she was self-sufficient and proud to be so.

Not the greatest words, I know, but I felt I'd offer my condolences as well in the hopes that they help in one way or another.
(Deleted comment)
(Anonymous)
Jan. 26th, 2002 04:11 am (UTC)
My condolences and prayers.
My condolences are yours, and i pray your father gets better.
i cant think of anymore to say..

Sincerly,
BlueJaey

barberio
Jan. 26th, 2002 05:01 pm (UTC)
All I can do is offer Sympathies and good wishes.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )